Today officially marks the end of my schooling life and I'm sitting in front of the computer, trying to articulate my feelings. After a few months hiatus, blogging suddenly feels so strange to me. First, let me clarify that my old blog is only made private because I was too lazy to update it so I decided to just shut it down. Sorry to disappoint you but nothing scandalous happened and since I'm starting a whole new chapter of my life now, might as well start afresh and begin with a new blog, right?
Practically everyone I know is on cloud nine right now so why am I still down here on plain old Earth? After my last Biology paper, I waited for bubbles of joy to appear but nada, flatness. Maybe just plain old relief that I don't have to stay up till the wee hours of the morning, trying to cram pointless facts into my brain. I mean seriously? Knowing how many different types of microorganism there is means no use to me. I can't even see these things for goodness sake.
So, back to the point. Could it be that I'm already starting to miss our, let's be honest, terribly suckish public school system? Nah, not really. I will however miss the familiarity of it all. Five whole years and it's like you're a freaking psychic. You know exactly what you'll be doing on the 3rd of January until the beginning of November. Excluding all the very much needed holidays, you'll wake up before 7, put on your uniform, go to school, hang with your friends and bitch about teachers. Stuck in a rut but at least you know what's happening next.
Today also marks the first day of the last month I have left with everyone I love. Oh wait, I actually do know what I'll be doing on the 3rd of January 2012, I will be bloody miserable in an airport, thinking of ways to stay back. Everyone seems to think I'm being ridiculous. " Oh wow, you get to go to the United Kingdom to further your studies! Damnnn, lucky you. " Seriously? I will trade places with you ANY TIME. So what if I'm going to London? It may sound exciting at first, a whole new country, a beautiful one at that but so what if you're living in such an amazing city with no one to enjoy it with?
I listen to my friends and classmates, discussing about life after high school, planning to stay together, going to the same college and I honestly envy them. Who in their right mind would want to start all over again? Do you know how hard it is to make decent friends? How long it takes to actually get to know someone properly? Besides, it's been ages since I've tried to make new friends. I do remember rule number 1 though which is to never pick your nose in public or lick a pair of scissors. Or wait, is that the new "in" thing right now since everyone's striving so hard to be "quirky" and "unique" ?
Oh yes, this reminds me to explain my blog link. Impressionist, impersonator, imitator, three different words which captures exactly the essence of humanity nowadays. They say the best advice anyone can give you is to be yourself, lol bull-fucking-shit. Who is ever themselves anyway nowadays? Who am I? Who are you?
Are you that bubbly girl who always seems to be giggling when you're with your friends or are you that girl who would lay so still on your bed at night, wishing that you could disappear? Does that make you the same person with multiple personalities or does that make you fake because you don't show your sadness when you're out in public? You hate someone so immensely that you would give anything to rip their heads off but you refrain yourselves from doing it and instead just smile at them or ignore their existences. So, are you being mature or nice or would people simply think that you're being a total phony? You put up a wall before your emotions and it's as if you're impersonating a rock because what beats being a rock right? Emotionless.
I guess this is just the way we've been created, no? Ever since we were a baby, we see, listen and learn from our surroundings. Heck, I've seen babies barking and peeing like dogs. Except that when we grow up, we imitate things that are supposedly cool to us. We learn and copy from the very best and why? Because we all care too damn much about what everyone else thinks of us and that's the very trait that will destroy our very being from the core. While we were all so eager to grow up, we've lost ourselves on the way.
As you can see from my link, you might think that I'm trying to be French by adding le instead of the in front of the word impressionist. I honestly do not know what I was trying to achieve with this link and this post, just needed to vent I suppose. Am I trying to sound deep in this post? Damn, I've managed to further confuse myself. So many questions so, who's got the answers?
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